Let go!!

Every time there’s someone beside me on the treadmill and they’re holding on with both hands, I want to scream that at them.

I had a physical yesterday and part of that was getting blood drawn.  For whatever reason the thought of getting poked with a needle will break me out into a full body sweat.  Getting a tattoo, not so much.  So, the nurse had me lay down and went through her spiel of telling me not to be scared and then looked down at my arm and said “What are you even worried for??  You’ve got huge veins, I could do this in my sleep!”  To which I politely asked her not to.  Then she said “You’re lucky.  You’re skinny and usually you skinny girls have skinny veins and it’s hard to get them.” 

The whole point of that story was: someone called me skinny!  (AND! while I’m in a very not skinny phase, you know, due to the whole donut phase…) I’ve had numerous comments on my weight loss, but I can’t remember one where the person flat out said skinny (it’s possible it’s happened).  Thankfully, she said that right before poking me with a giant needle and then draining me of most of my blood so I was slightly distracted. 

I made these the other day.  The batter was super thick so I thought they would be better to make into cookies.  Downside to that was, cookies need sweetness.  Yes, they have chocolate chips, but…  Now, I warm them up for a few seconds in the microwave and then drown them in honey.  While not great on taste, they do help with the late night snacking cravings.  And are full of protein!  Double win. 

I cut my hair.

I’ve decided I’m going to go all caveman on little Ms. Motivation.  Just club her over the head and drag her butt back here.  Tomorrow.  While I did eat well today (and do my cardio today !!), I’m finishing my bottle of wine….that I started a little while ago….and then I think I’ll try the whole not drinking alcohol for a while.  Just saying (or thinking) that makes me start laughing.  But, I’d like to see if I can do it.  You know, that whole control thing.  *Not* that I have control issues or anything….ok, all of you STOP laughing!

That’s all I got.  Here’s a picture of my new haircut.  Yes, I love it.  No, I don’t know why I keep growing my hair out and hating it the whole time instead of keeping it short.  I think somewhere along the way I got programmed to think men across the board preferred long hair.  Right at this moment, I’ve decided I don’t care what I’m *supposed* to think, I like it short.  (full disclosure, Alan says he has no preference and likes it both ways.  Seeing as how he’s seen me with much longer and shorter hair than I’m currently sporting, I’ll believe him.)

Oh yeah.  Here’s the picture.  No, I’m not smiling.  I don’t in selfies.  Just feels weird.




I have a blog.

I have this thing.  Mostly I ignore it, much to the chagrin of people who were excited that I started it.  I’ll take pictures of the boys, or think of something witty (or sometimes actually intellectual) and think I’ll post it here.  Then I don’t.  I rule. 

That’s a lot of “I”. 

There’s a girl (woman, lady, whatever) that blogs and I occasionally read it.  Sometimes I think she’s strong to write it all down and put it out there.  Other times, I want to say “get over it!  Move on!”, then immediately chide myself because that response is made mostly out of jealousy at not feeling like I can be as free with myself.  Of course, the immediate response to *that* is wondering who the hell bloody cares about my intellectual thoughts!!  🙂  Ah, the inner workings of my brain. 

I have pictures of the boys and fireworks and the zoo and new tattoos (well, just one), but I’m too lazy to wait on them to upload.  Maybe I’ll do it another day.  Or, maybe I’ll just keep all those pictures to myself.   

We’re going to a wedding in Seattle in just over a month.  Somehow, I have to re-find my fat melting motivation.  That shit is so gone.  Not even just hiding under the couch kind of gone.  Like, “bitch packed her bags and moved the hell out” kind of gone.  But, I won’t lie.  The donuts have been soooo good.  Now, I have to gravel and beg and plead to get her to come back and give me another chance.  I gots a dress to buy!  Shopping blows. 

I haven’t even made any good recipes lately.  I have chicken legs in the oven, but not fancy ones.  Just bakin’ in beer.  Wish they’d hurry up, I’m hungry….and bored….