Yay Me!!

A little elbow grease, a little google/youtube grease, a little phone call “HELP ME!” grease, and a ton more engine grease and the cabin filter on my car is changed! 

Although, to be fair, it’s probably easier than putting gas in the car.  But, it was new to me and I did it.  A good accomplishment for a Monday, if you ask me 🙂


Colin’s Pre-k Graduation

Colin graduated Pre-K last Thursday.  I’m one of those people that thinks there are way too many graduations these days.  But, this time it’s my kid so I get to be proud and not *quite* as annoyed 🙂  For his last day of the regular school year, this was the outfit he chose.  Hey, it’s a Witten jersey, who am I to complain? 20140603_081939

It was finally time to get ready and he couldn’t get the cap and gown on fast enough!


As soon as that picture was done, he ran into our room to look in the mirror.  Naturally, Oliver was right on his heels and aggravating him within seconds.  You’ll notice Colin’s face?  It’s like they’re siblings or something.  It never stops! 


He’s so cute!


Obligatory family photo.  Because, we rarely do it.  So, here parents!!  🙂


And now for all the songs they performed at the ceremony. 





Colin’s obvious favorite:


And finally, Colin receiving his diploma:


Plants and Eyebrows

Our yard.  It’s a humorous disaster.  Alan worked hard to get those horrid bushes out with the full intention of us working on making an actual front bed.  Then, we found out we have to get our roof replaced (AGAIN!), so we’re waiting until that’s done since it’ll all get trampled anyway.  One day we walked out and found a new plant growing.  It was no weed we’d ever came across before and we were kinda stumped (plant pun!).  3

Alan looked on the other side of our stairs and saw this:


After sitting there scratching our heads for a few minutes, Alan pops out with “I bet they’re pumpkin plants!”  Naturally, I ran off to the internets for answers.  Sure enough, pumpkins!  We’re all sitting there laughing when Oliver pops out with “Look over here!”


There’s a whole freaking crop of pumpkins around the corner.  See, the funny part is, for the last few years, we’ve so classily (totally made up word) shoved our rotting Halloween pumpkins into the front flower beds.  We pushed them behind the holly bushes, so it wasn’t TOO trashy.  But, into the flower beds, nonetheless.  Year after year they went in.  For whatever reason, this year they decided to grow.  And grow.  And new ones are still popping up. 

In the same order as the pictures above, this is what they look like today, two weeks later.


And in keeping with the plant theme, Alan bought me a rose bush a few years ago for Mother’s Day instead of a bouquet of flowers.  You can see it in the top right corner of the last picture.  This year for Mother’s Day, he got me a hibiscus plant.  This morning, the first bloom was open!


That flower is seriously huge.  I love it!!  To the right of it, you can also see my one remaining okra plant.  Some horrid dog, that shall remain nameless, pulled out my other two okra plants and ate them (and chewed on one of my tomatoes, and ate off an entire stem of the hibiscus!).  So, my patio vegetable garden is now a porch vegetable garden.

Now starts the eyebrow debacle. 

Last Friday I went in for a hair trim.  While I was waiting, I noticed my hair person was waxing someone’s eyebrows.  Having never had that done, I talked to her about it and decided when my cut was done, I’d try it out.  The first clue that something went amiss should have been when she put the “cooling aloe” on and it burned.  Bad.  That threw her since aloe is supposed to be soothing.  Nope.  As the day went on, the burning never eased up.  I felt like I had covered my entire face and just left my eyelids in the sun for hours.  The next day, the redness finally went away, but a lovely burn mark was left on one of my lids.  Now, on the 4th day, both my eyelids are peeling.  It looks so awesome.  What I’ve taken away from this experience is that my eyelids didn’t look that bad to begin with and waxing them is stupid.  I think it’s a safe bet to say never again will I succumb to that torture technique. 

Brag time!

This morning was the 1st grade awards ceremony for the year.  And being the most with-it and awesome mom that I am, I totally forgot about it.  Thankfully, I had friends there that acted as my proxy and took pictures.  Especially since my boy won “Mr. Manners!”  Yay!  All that beating paid off!!  🙂  You’ll notice that not only did he get my exquisite perfect manners, he’s also inherited my love of personal space invasion.  



After getting Colin to school, I made it in time for the last Huddle of the school year.  Where my just awared Mr. Manners was very quickly pulled out of line by the principal! 


He was pretty embarrassed, but I made sure to let him know that I didn’t care.  The other moms and I laughed about it.  It’s the end of the year, he’s already been through one presentation, and now he’s sitting in line for another during a time that’s not crucial to be super quiet or paying attention.  What.Ever.  Apparently, the principal didn’t share my same ambivalence. 

Once it got rolling, he got called for A honor roll AND perfect attendance for the whole year. 


Needless to say, we’re pretty damn proud of this kid.  He maxed out his first grade reading level well before the school year was half over, constantly got over 100 on his spelling tests, rarely came home with a grade under 90, and all the while keeping up with his two seasons of soccer, where they placed 2nd in the championships. 

Yup.  I’m a proud mom. 

The Conclusion of the Tale

“She received the drink, proclaimed “It is finished”, bowed her head and gave up the ghost.” 


After much cursing, drinking, and general hair pulling, The Red Wall of Death is done. 

At least, as done as I’m going to do it.  Minus some touch ups….to be done at a later date.  This really was one of the worst projects ever.  Ever.  There was lots of learning involved (thank you, Hilary!) that I’ll use for later painting.  Because there most definitely will be later painting since the other walls now look dingy.  Suggestions on color would not go unheeded.   

All that being said, there should be a huge honorable mention for Alan putting up with me this weekend.  He definitely picked up household slack, kept the kids out from under my feet, and did his best to ignore my general bitchiness, but kindly called me out on it when it was over-the-top so I could apologize.  I know I wasn’t the most pleasant of people to be around the last couple of days and he handled it like a trooper.  (Although, I’m pretty sure the thought of going back to work today was looking pretty good to him 🙂 )   So, thank you, Alan!! 

Now, on to one of the other 18 projects I’ve got on my list…

The Tale of the Red Wall. (*Language*)

This is a tale of painting a white wall red.  If you’re offended by “bad language”, just skip it. 

The TL;DR tag for this post is “Fuck the red wall.” 

Seriously.  I’m so done.  But, so far from done. 

At this very moment, I’m waiting on yet another border coat to dry so I can go back and actually finishing painting the wall red the many more coats it needs. 

Last week I got some wild hair about wanting an accent wall in our “breakfast nook.”  (That’s in quotes because the space easily fits our dining room table with both its leaves put in.  Where I’m sitting now is technically our formal dining room, but it’s been converted into an office…bar…storage…)  So, off to Lowe’s I go.  I very thoroughly (less than 5 minutes) browse through the color selections and find a red that matches the color I want.  Take the color card up to the guy, wait around, pick up my quart of color and head home.  Come to find out later, a quart isn’t near enough to paint a white wall red.  By this time, everyone is home, it’s getting late, and we still have to head to Target after Lowe’s.  Back to Lowe’s we go.  Walk up to the paint counter, hand the person the SAME paint card from earlier in the day and ask for a gallon.  After waiting around for 15 minutes, the scary lady comes back and starts barking something about them being out of magenta and they can’t do the color but they can color match and ahhhhh!!!!  I’ve got one kid pretending to play soccer in the aisle, one kid trying to climb the paint counter, and a lady yelling at me about magenta.  After some not so coherent back and forth about magenta (SERIOUSLY?!  What the hell does magenta have to do with anything?!  Oh, right…that’s coming…), I get my gallon of nonrefundable color matched mixed paint and head on my way.  Get done with our Target shopping, head back to the Red Wall of Death, open the newly acquired paint can and OH!  WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!  Oh, I see.  It’s the god-damned magenta tinted paint!! 


Whatever.  It’s not the same color, but it’ll work.  So, back to painting I go.  And painting.  With more painting.  Jesus, why won’t these white blotches go away?!  Oh, hey, here’s an actual paint brush and not a roller.  I’ll just use that.  In 2×2 sections.  And paint the entire.freaking.wall.that way. 

There’s red paint on the floor.  There’s red paint on the ceiling.  But, it takes until getting the red paint inside the window frame that I finally catch on to that whole taping thing.  You know, the tape I bought when I got the paint supplies.  Oh, but to properly tape, I should really take down the blinds.  Oh sweet mother of God, what is that?!  Oh, no big.  It’s just our sheetrock crumbling! 

The majority of the top of the window’s sheetrock was hanging down.  Plus, the top half of the window seemed to be pulled away from the wall.  Off to Walmart I go to get some mesh and plaster to do some not so fancy patch work.  You know what plastering’s like?  Frosting a cake.  Guess what I’m not good at.  Yeah.   After sanding, scraping off old caulk, meshing, plastering, resanding, vacumming, and killz-ing the inside of the window, I was *finally* able to get back to painting the fucking red wall.  Which meant properly taping EVERYTHING and then border painting.  Again. 

Once the actual red paint is done, I get to go back and caulk the window back to the wall.  Then finding some proper white paint to paint the inside of that. 

On the plus side, the white baseboard/inside window really makes the red pop.  The downside is noticing how much every.thing.else needs to be painted.  Six months from now, I’m pretty sure I’ll STILL be painting some part of my house, seeing as how every wall leads to another. 

But for now, now I drink.  And bitch.  Then drink some more.  I’m sure there will be plenty of bitching as well. 

Here.  Look at a picture of Colin with his first place trophy for soccer.  I’m out.


Have a title.

The latter half of April through early to mid May is always a fun time.  I have an anniversary, birthday, and Mother’s Day all together.  It’s kind of like an early holiday season.  But, then it’s over and the world no longer revolves around me.  Until the latter part of June when we have another anniversary.  Then it’s fun for a weekend again. 

This year, Alan took me to Scarborough Faire for my birthday.  Thankfully, my mom watched the kids so we could just hang out and do what we wanted to do.  SF has really (REALLY) commercialized over the years, but they’ve added in actual bathrooms, so I can’t complain too much.  It’s also largely nostalgic for me.  And you get to see people in some weird-ass costumes.  Literally.  Their asses look strange. 

For Mother’s Day we took my mom to the Mother’s Day brunch at the Dallas Arboretum.  Which is really what I wanted to do so it’s handy that she likes that place so much.  It was warm, but breezy, and the super-sized plastic cup of champagne the bartender guy gave me was a fun bonus. 

Next, I get to plan our wine-tour-weekend-getaway down in Hill Country for our other anniversary.  There’s a party bus company that does all the driving and planning while the guests do all the drinking.  Uh, yes please!! 

Today’s agenda will be going to the doctor.  I’ve either got a sinus/ear infection that I can’t get rid of, or some weird third world disease that has taken up residence in my jaw.  Third world disease definitely seems like the more logical choice. 

Both boys are in soccer.  Which, is YAY! until their games are at the same time.  In different places.  Then it’s boo.  But, YAY!, they both made it to the playoffs!  With games on the same days AND times.  Definitely boo!  Oliver’s team has been a team for several seasons, now.  They’ve really learned how to play as a team and it’s so freaking fun to watch.  They absolutely drive us parents crazy when they aren’t playing their hardest (like at the 8.30am games) but when they switch “on”, it’s beautiful.  It also helps that we have a great group of parents.  (AKA: The Most Obnoxious Team Parents)  Colin’s team…well…it’s his first season.  The good part is he made it to the playoffs his first year playing, too (since Oliver’s did).  But, we’re still struggling with the whole team participation mentality.  And the parents…well, again, it’s the first season we’ve been with this group, so that may change.  We’ve talked about having him do one more season now that he has an actual grasp of what soccer entails.  After that, he may be moving on to…other things….of some team nature.  But, for tonight, we’ll cheer them both on at their respective games and hope they win. 

13 years (yesterday)

One of my fb friends has started a cupcake/flower business.  A few days ago she posted a recipe for cupcakes.  Peanut butter?  Chocolate?  Uh, yes please!  Here’s the fb post:


I highly suggest making these if you are at all partial to cupcakes.  Or peanut butter.  Or chocolate.  Or yummy bites of heaven in your mouth.  I made mine wheat free, but definitely not sugar or dairy free.  A few other tweaks here and there (naturally), but nothing so major that it changes anything….well, I assume.  Bottom line, they’re damn good. 


Mine don’t look near as professional as hers do, but then, I’m just making mine to shove in my family’s face, not to sell 🙂  A thing to note, the recipe makes 24 cupcakes.  If I had realized that, I probably would have cut the recipe in half.  Since I had so many, I decided Alan needed to take some to work.  Why, oh WHY do I try to make any kind of decision before I’ve had any coffee??  Transfer cupcakes to pan?  No problem.  Lid only has one locking side?  Sure, it’s fine.  Test to make sure everything holds because a broken lid on a pan holding 12 cupcakes could go badly?  Yup!  Ugh.  Needless to say, Alan didn’t take any cupcakes to work today. 

I’ve now been married 13 years.  That’s a little weird.  And pretty cool. 

Stupid Easter candy on sale…

The Reddit rabbit hole struck me this morning and I got sucked into listening to Dolly Parton.  Now, I don’t do country music.  At all.  But there’s always been a special place in my music tastes for Dolly.  I mean, it’s Dolly!


That being said, I have a huge problem with the message of that song, catchy as it is.  Now, if I could hear Dolly sing Loretta’s song, that would be greatness!


Oh, look!  There’s Colin!